North Korea Calls in Middle of Night, Clinton Can't Pick Up Phone, Elbow Shattered

Right about now you are sitting down to some Spam musubi and a loco moko plate, and thinking, "Awesome, Hawaii is making the news on the mainland!" And since all attention is good attention, potential nuclear destruction included, one might as well make the most and value this moment in the blazing sun while it can still be seen.

Kim Jong-Il of North Korea has the missiles pointed east, and on lock, and is not swayed by the current budget difficulties engulfing Hawaii, re-targeting being such a bitch and all.

"I recognize the impact the furloughs will have on many employees and their families. This is not something we want to do, but something we have to do to balance the state budget," Lingle said.

Lingle announced at the beginning of the month that she will begin the furloughs on July 1. She said payroll is prepared to begin the paycheck adjustments.

In a letter to employees, the governor informed workers that anyone hired before July 1, 1998, will see their adjustments starting on July 20; anyone hired after July 1, 1998, will see the adjustments in the Aug. 5 paycheck.

Barring an injunction by the courts, workers will see a 14 percent drop in their paychecks."

(KITV ABC)

Certainly this is a run for your lives or visit the family on the mainland kind of moment, and the extra three days off a month should provide that extra time for disaster preparedness. Last place you really want to be, actually, is at work during a nuclear moment. You want to be home with the loved ones, eating a delicious meal of barbecued meat and macaroni salad, and catching up on missed episodes of The Office while you still have the chance. Why worry anyway?

The mainland stands ready to come to the physical (if not financial) aid of Hawaii, so things are not all that bad:

"Speaking at a Pentagon news conference, Mr. Gates said he had directed the military to deploy mobile, ground-based interceptors to Hawaii. Mr. Gates also ordered seaborne radar into the waters off Hawaii to provide detailed information to track and attack any North Korean missile."

(N.Y. Times)

I'm pretty sure this is that "phone call in the middle of the night" moment Hillary Clinton and Republicans warned us about. Certain Republicans are probably a bit anxious, hoping events prove them right, and are willing to sacrifice a few Hawaiians on the alter of predictive accuracy.

What's really ironic is that during this moment of crisis, Hillary probably cannot pick up the phone with the strong arm, given her shattered elbow:

Hillary Clinton will undergo surgery after shattering her right elbow in a fall on the way to a meeting at the White House.

The US Secretary of State has cancelled all public engagements, including a scheduled appearance alongside the Hollywood star Angelina Jolie to mark World Refugee Day.

President Obama is understood to have phoned Mrs Clinton to express his sympathy after the accident last night.

(U.K. Times)

Sit back Hawaii. You have Spam. And when times get tough, Spam is all you need.