Brits, Americans Commit Adultery Against Salad

As if the constant state of rotund and bulging bodies is not an obvious indicator of what people are putting in their heads, there is growing evidence that the fast food industy's dance with good nutrition may be at an end, and it is spreading to Britain.

It is a welcome trend. Nothing is worse than going into a Subway or other store and paying top dollar for things like raisins, water, apple slices, and the sorts of nutriwaste that one always liked to toss out when in elementary school. Wasn't lying to mom from first through sixth grade enough guilt?

Every day at our beloved Rufus King School in Fresh Meadows in Queens, hordes of kids ditched fruits and veggies, often running across during lunch break to buy pizza or spend their last quarter at the well stocked candy store. Arriving home, my mom would ask, "Did you like the peanutbutter and jelly sandwich and apple I gave you for lunch?" and I would say, "Uh huh". In reality the fact that the apple daily rolled my sandwich into a pancake through haphazard lunch bag control and maintenance was enough reason for me to stick my tongue and taste buds in places they did not belong. Lemon ice for lunch? Oh hell yea.

The Times (UK) reports in a survey that fast food shops are dumping more salad and healthy fare than they actually sell.

A Times survey in six British cities this week confirmed that the industry’s brief flirtation with healthy eating is over.

During a day of observation in branches of McDonald’s, Burger King and Kentucky Fried Chicken only two customers in Manchester and one in London ordered a salad.

One Burger King manager states “We buy in three cases of salad each week. I only order them in because I have to. But we bin most of them at the end of the week because they don't sell."

Lest we lose heart and make plans to move to England, the same trend there started in our beloved homeland (where all good things begin). We can smile at the reduced societal pressure of choosing between a really bad salad and a fairly decent burger.

“We listened to consumers who said they wanted to eat fresh fruit,” a spokesman for Wendy’s, an American burger chain, said. “Apparently they lied.” (Times, UK).