Richard Branson: Asset Man Comes Early

If you are one of those British women who just voted Richard Branson your favorite deep pocketed potential dating partner, you will be happy to know that Bronson has had his eye on various bottoms for some time now, admiring the view. Unfortunately, the bottom in question is the aviation industry, and the only use for his rather large rod will be to go bottom fishing for undervalued assets.

We've always assumed fishing was more an American thing: an attempt to recreate our inner Rockwell or Sawyer by casting hook, line and sinker into the roiling waters off Montauk or Mortgage Default or some other pleasant backdrop.

But lo! It's Richard Branson himself with eyes on the deep, yet inviting waters where struggling firms of every stripe are getting sucked to the bottom.

The Times reports that Branson is raising $1 billion from institutional investors and others to invest in the "aviation sector" Of course Branson is hardly first, or alone, with firms on both sides of the pond rushing to catch various distressed industries and assets at the bottom of their valuations.

Highbridge Capital, a $28 billion hedge fund group majority-owned by JPMorgan Chase (nyse: JPM - news - people ), is said to be courting investors in a new $1 billion fund, though the company wouldn't confirm that. Goldman Sachs (nyse: GS - news - people ) has $4 billion committed to two distressed funds, PIMCO has $3 billion, and Fortress Investment Group (nyse: FIG - news - people ) has $2 billion.

(Forbes)

With so many men of money in so many places getting their sticks on, and out, one wonders if all this might be a bit of premature elation. After all, the problems in the colonies (that would be the United States) are hardly beyond initial stages. The impact of rising unemployment is like a toxic drip into the water, water already filled with rising prices, falling dollars, and sinking retirement fund values. When America sneezes, does not Europe get the sniffles?

Perhaps Branson's focus on aviation will not be so affected, as Europe generally did not follow the rather deranged path of experimentation in the United States, where citizens and non-citizens of every stripe--apparently some just out of kindergarten, who lacked the ability to read things like contracts-- were given the opportunity to have their very own McMansion and bankrupt themselves into never flying on a plane again.

Then too, aviation in Europe is not quite so haphazard as in the United States, where bankruptcy is the norm and one will soon end up having to leave your body as deposit at the terminal to afford the additional fees being tacked on to ticket costs (though the body count in crashes will be a much happier affair, planes aloft without souls).

Still you have to wonder. While airlines are his business, difficulties abound. Rising fuel prices and the emissions caps recently approved by the European Union to limit greenhouse gases can hardly make for clear sailing when the world economy is on the edge of slowing. One would think that more unwinding should occur before bargains can be found that are reliably at pond's bottom with nowhere to go but up.

Of course I recall the film "It's a Wonderful Life" and how evil banker Potter was buying when all were failing and selling; he did so in order to create a monopoly. But I should hardly think that a man so beloved by British women would be up to something so evil and sinister. We all know women are not fooled by bad boys, and Richard might be trying too hard to get ahead by coming too early.